Picking Your Battles
Hopefully this short post will save you some heartache. Here is a typical scenario my new clients often find themselves in:
1. Client hears about Paleo Nutrition for the first time and thinks we are crazy but decides, “What the hell, it won’t kill me to try.”
2. Client feels amazing and sees dramatic performance and aesthetic improvements, as well as improvements in seemingly unrelated issues (headaches go away, allergies/asthma relief, sleeping better, depression relief, etc.)
3. Client evolves into someone incapable of talking about things unrelated to Paleo Nutrition.
4. Client’s family and friends say, “You are crazy! – You will die of a heart attack! – You MUST eat grains! – Why would you believe some idiot trainer over your doctor who is clearly in direct contact with God??”
5 Client asks resistant family and friends to read The Paleo Solution, but friends and family are disinterested due to faith in “common knowledge.”
6. Client comes in to the gym looking miserable and dejected, shoulders slumped and heart broken, even doubting the reality of their own results.
Of course, this is a difficult conundrum to avoid. When you look/feel/perform so much better in such a short time why would you keep it from the people you care about? You’re not a jerk. You want good things for others. Why do your good intentions leave you feeling terrible? Well, if you are new to all this paleo stuff you are missing two things: education and undeniable results.
Many of us who spew data, rants, and advice every time we can find a soap box to summit are complete nutrition geeks. We have voluntarily poured over every detail of more studies than we care to count, any one of which would have had the effect of a tranquilizer dart shot into the neck of a more sane human. We have the advantage of passion and time invested, the result of which is education. When we are talking with someone new, we have answers for all of their question. Unfortunately, you probably don’t yet have all these answers and the person you are trying to help will see this as a fatal flaw in your logic. Their reasoning is ridiculous, but that’s how these things go down. Most people are completely unconcerned with the fact that all of their “knowledge” was handed down to them without a single reference. They have no reason to believe what they believe other than their blind faith in the over-regurgitated platitudes that “everyone knows.” But this won’t stop them from demanding references and expecting you to have an immense knowledge base on all things paleo, even though it has never crossed their mind to demand the same of their doctors, nutritionists, and government “experts.” You can’t win this fight without becoming one of us, and I would advise against it because we are all obsessed. But never fear, their is any easier way.
Let your results do your talking. When the people you care about realize they have watched you quietly get fitter, healthier, and sexier they will have a difficult decision to make – stubbornly ignore what is right in front of their face, admit they have been lied to and change, or admit they have been lied to and not change despite knowing better. Whatever their decision, you have done your best to show them the way without ever getting your feelings hurt. This strategy also avoids creating a situation in which an argumentative person might not want to admit they were wrong. Some people might have too much pride to admit they were wrong after attacking every point you make only to watch your madness actually work. So don’t give those types the opportunity to get all puffed up. Just change your life right before their eyes. It’s fantastic if they come along for the ride, but it’s out of your hands if they don’t. You have your own body. Treat it right and make it an example to the naysayers.
“Some people might have too much pride to admit they were wrong after attacking every point you make only to watch your madness actually work.”
That says it all right there Jason.
Most of the barriers in life are usually people. And they often are equipped with misinformation to shoot you down, ESPECIALLY when you’re succeeding. It’s all based on THEIR fears of failure and jealously of your recent success.
I go through this regularly with a few of my siblings. They’re not obese, but they’re not fit either. So, when they see me on occasion they still ask me “are you on that crazy diet?” In an effort to avoid a useless confrontation that will go no where, I just respond “yep, it’s that crazy diet”.
They’ll harp on the fact that I NEED to be eating grains, but by then I’ve pretty much tuned them out.
People. This is the real deal.
Don’t stop now. If Paleo nutrition is working and you feel great,….don’t listen to outside comments! It will only distract you from doing whats best for you and your body.
Funny how after I was just confronted finally today at dinner about this, that I should come home and find this post. I have shared a little of my new found knowledge but not to any extreme as much as I would love to talk about Paleo all day. Well yesterday my son’s GG got some juice boxes for the kids and I told my two year old no. Then wouldn’t allow him the crackers that where also being handed out. I had snacks for him and gave him water to drink. Well then today at dinner it came up that we need to be exposed to stuff to build immunities for it (this statement was being directed at me) and that I need to let my son have his “treats”. Well it’s really frustrating to listen to the point they tired to get across while knowing what I’v been learning. And in trying to defend myself I can hear how crazy I must sound to them. I just want to do my thing and not have to explain it to them anymore. I’m just gonna keep going and hope that someday they see this is truly beneficial and not harmful at all. Thanks for this post. It really hit home today.
“Build immunities” to treats?? There’s some logic for ya! Instant evolution, ladies and gentlemen!
Just stick to your guns, Amanda. The mistaken assumptions of others will never change the truth, and you don’t have to change their minds to have your own healthy body or teach your son proper nutrition.
This is a great post! This is a tough one. I don’t mind keeping my paleo ways to myself, because hey, it’s survival of the fittest right? When people argue with me, I typically mention something about science and that it works for me, and leave it at that. No need to try to sell it until they ask to try it. Sometimes I think of it as my secret weapon, an edge up on the competition. The part I struggle with is when family members, friends and loved ones won’t listen. My co-workers can get sick all they want, but what about my mom, how long do I have to wait for her to come around? Either way, thanks for the great post.
Yeah, resistant loved ones are tough to deal with. You don’t want to see them suffer or shorten their lives, but there is only so much you can do. Just keep being a great example and maybe they will see the light. Good luck to you.
great read Jason thanks. your right i never know exactly what to tell people when they ask me why i eat the way i do. its not that i am blindly following the paleo lead its just that its such a complicated topic that i try not to get too deep into discussions about nutrition as i am not really qualified to explain details of this concept.
fact is i feel better than i ever have, random abnormalities that no doctors could give me answers to have gone away, energy and sleep levels are where they are suppose to be ext. thats what i know. thats why i stay.
cheers